Jesus pitches up at a wedding in Cana, the Brides dad has screwed up because he did not order enough wine, and now the guests are pissed off. You don’t go to a dry wedding what good is that. The off license is now closed and Walmart has not yet made it to Cana (the land had been purchased but there was local opposition to the building because the area was used to stone rape victims). Jesus was worried there was going to be a riot. So to cut a short story shorter he had the servants fill some jugs full of water and when they poured it out they poured it out they found it had mysteriously turned into chateauneuf du papehe. Now we know this happened because the bible said it did and someone wrote it down. All the evidence that anyone ever needs!* Only who can say for sure where the magic came from? Now I admire the work of Penn Jillette and RJ Teller. Both accomplished demigods. However through the style that they adopt it is quiet often Jillette who fronts the miracle the actual work is conducted my Mr Teller. Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H81A3bU68k&feature=related Perhaps Judas was really the magician who sat quietly in the background and made jesus look good. When eventually Judas had enough of being upstaged and tried a breakaway independent career it all went wrong for everyone.
*I wrestled a rhino last night, it had crept into my room and tried to reset my alarm clock to make me late for work. When I woke up I asked it to leave. It refused and after a 20 minute struggle I managed to throw it out of the skylight in the bathroom. Now this may sound far fetched but not only did it happen but I am writing it down myself and this is not a third hand account
I have to admit I am bored with the whole rapture thing. As predicted by most, religious and atheists alike it did not happen. I am not a fan of religions but I am sparing a thought for the majority of Christians who have been abused through out the day due to the ramblings of a mad man (and yes I have thrown my tuppence in too). But tonight I am going on the beer and I intend to forget about the whole thing.
But before I go I want to spare a thought to the innocent victims of this farce. The kids who's parent's blind faith and borderline mental illness would have taken them on an emotional roller coaster of fear, excitement and god knows (yes I know I am being ironic) what else over however long they have been signed up to the rubbish. It is my humble opinion (and I know it accounts for very little) that the authorities should be considering this as child abuse. Let's be honest telling your kids theyre gonna be taken up to heaven if the believe in and love with their whole hearts some anthropomorphic self indulgent creator and if they don't they will suffer months of hell on earth before they are consummed by the fires themselves is pretty fucked up. But as most of the followers are American where sadly a nation that was sensible enough to set itself up on a nonsecular premise has swallowed religious dogma like a japanese whore swallows cum at a bukkake party then this call will fall on deaf ears. Thankfully there is a ground swell of american atheists prepared to "preach" the word of reason.
But that's enough from me. I'm off to the pub to celebrate life, love and happiness. Evolution is a wonderful thing.
This is rapture eve for me right now, in other parts of the world they are already at the great day May 21st. But not yet at 6pm. So the world waits.
Well actually the world isn't waiting. A few people are. On one side are the faithful followers of the Camping camp waiting to be taken into the heavens. On the other side are the cynics, detractors and atheists (these three are not mutually exclusive)waiting to laugh at the formers expense. But then perhaps there is something inherently honest about Camping... No wait, don't go, let me explain....
Hello, oh good your still there. There is a great deal written about frauds and con artists and religion has it's offenders. Most Christians will talk of the second coming and a fabulous after life. This they do with no evidence of such a claim. And when will it come? At some indeterminable point in the future. At least Camping is making a solid prediction. Okay so he's full of shit, yeah I know. But! And it's a big but in little over 24hrs he will be shown to be full of shit. Okay so the excuses and back tracking will take place. The prays of the faithful saved us all, or there has been a minor error in the translation of the scriptures. Camping has got it wrong before and as social psychologists will tell us past behaviour is a strong predictor of future behaviour.
The important thing about the error of this man is that it will show that you can read what you want into the ancient scriptures it doesn't make it true. Many of the religous main stream will mock Camping along with us atheists but they are missing the point. Scholars have been interpreting the chapters and verses of the bible since it was written. Preachers every week stand up and give their receptive congregations the word of "God" according to them. This word was written by man in the first place. So Camping will turn out to be wrong, thats no surprise. But if Campings wrong what's not to say the Pope or other religious leaders may also have got it wrong? maybe its ok to be gay after all or condoms can be during biblical acts used or women have the right to determined whether they have children or meat can be eaten on a Friday, all contraversial points I know. We laugh today at the gods of our ancestors; the Romans, Egyptians, the Greeks etc but how long will it be before our cultures are the joke.
In the mean time if one person comes through this weekend and changes their world view from that of the blind faithful to one of the questioning sceptic then Harold Camping has served a purpose. And of course their will be the calls of the faithful that Camping was a fraud or a false prophet but then he is one of only a few so called prophets to actually provide a prophecy which can be tested. And as a firm believer in science, for that I am thankful.