Friday, 27 May 2011

Judas turns water into wine and a rhino sneaks into my bedroom

Jesus pitches up at a wedding in Cana, the Brides dad has screwed up because he did not order enough wine, and now the guests are pissed off. You don’t go to a dry wedding what good is that. The off license is now closed and Walmart has not yet made it to Cana (the land had been purchased but there was local opposition to the building because the area was used to stone rape victims). Jesus was worried there was going to be a riot. So to cut a short story shorter he had the servants fill some jugs full of water and when they poured it out they poured it out they found it had mysteriously turned into chateauneuf du papehe. Now we know this happened because the bible said it did and someone wrote it down. All the evidence that anyone ever needs!* Only who can say for sure where the magic came from? Now I admire the work of Penn Jillette and RJ Teller. Both accomplished demigods. However through the style that they adopt it is quiet often Jillette who fronts the miracle the actual work is conducted my Mr Teller. Check out Perhaps Judas was really the magician who sat quietly in the background and made jesus look good. When eventually Judas had enough of being upstaged and tried a breakaway independent career it all went wrong for everyone.

*I wrestled a rhino last night, it had crept into my room and tried to reset my alarm clock to make me late for work. When I woke up I asked it to leave. It refused and after a 20 minute struggle I managed to throw it out of the skylight in the bathroom. Now this may sound far fetched but not only did it happen but I am writing it down myself and this is not a third hand account

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